


12 Days of Chr*stm*s

by chicagotime



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, probably cute, romcom-ish?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:49:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicagotime/pseuds/chicagotime
Summary: Jessica, a dirtbag who has never given a present to any girlfriend ever, tries to give 12 presents to her girlfriend Nagomi.
Relationships: Nagomi Mcdaniel/Jessica Telephone
Kudos: 3





	12 Days of Chr*stm*s

“Jess.”

“Yes?”

“This is a pair of gloves.”

Jessica Telephone leans back in her well-worn chair, loudly chewing her gum. Around her, other customers’ eyes dart above cards on tables depicting red and green drinks of dubious origin and quality, trying to catch a glimpse of their idol without actually getting her attention because of course they’re not _that_ kind of fan, not like the simps around them who’d give their left leg just to smell her chair after she leaves. Duh.

“And?”

Nagomi Mcdaniel, Heir to the Carcinisation Cycle, Multitude of Claws and Chitin, Walker of Fine Lines, Number One Idol, and Jess’ Girlfriend, crosses her arms and huffs a little. The two ravens on her main shoulders loudly exhale with her. “You know I only have one hand.”

Somehow, Jessica chews and talks at the same time. “That’s why it’s such a great gift, babe! Two sets of gloves for the price of one! No need to thank me for such a badass gift this Chr*stm*s.” She peers over her 2000s-era sports glasses that burn like a hotrod at Nagomi, clearly expecting a large amount of gratitude and also that ridiculously expensive gift she’s been hinting at for over a month now.

Nagomi’s face, while carcinised, has a complex expression of regret, pity, and puppy dog love etched into it by a sapphic Michelangelo. “Jess, it’s December 27th. It’s not even B*xing Day. And you know I already got you that bat you wanted.”

“Oh.” Right. The bat she really wanted. That Nagomi already gave her yesterday, and that she loved, and will never use, so she felt ‘guilty’ and ran to Target halfway through a date to buy the first thing she could see that was under 10 dollars because she never carries money on her and gave Nagomi just now because she technically didn’t give her own girlfriend anything on almost-Chr*stm*s Day. That bat.

Nagomi sighs, plumes of fog that smell like salt leaking from her mouth. “Look. I get it. You were busy this Chr*stm*s. You didn’t have time to get me anything. It’s fine. Just… don’t pull this bullshit on me next year, alright?”

For the first time in months, Jessica leans forward and spits out her gum. It soars through the cafe and lands in the hair of a lucky fan, who immediately faints. They’re quickly covered in other fans holding scissors. 

“Gomi. Babe. I know I was busy this year, but I can salvage this. Give me 12 days, and I promise you’ll have 12 gifts that will blow your fucking tits off, just like that song I definitely know all the words to.” The glasses stay on, but her eyes smoulder with the beginnings of a half-assed flame of conviction like no other.

A moment passes. The ravens give Nagomi a Look. She tries to ignore them. “... Fine. But make it 11 days. You already gave me something that could technically blow my tits off if you stuffed enough gunpowder in it.” A corner of her mouth cracks, forming the smallest smirk anyone has ever seen.

Jessica rises slightly quicker than normal and gives Nagomi a slightly more passionate Public Kiss (For The Vlines) than usual. “Babe, I will not let you down. I’m gonna go find some stuff for you now, love you, this was great, hope you can pay the bill, bye!” And she sprints out of the cafe and into the street, the crowd outside parting for her like a certain Red Sea.

Nagomi is left bright red, with two disappointed ravens and a bill for two hundred Arbly’s meals in this, a Stlarbucks cafe.

This will not go well.


End file.
